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I Remember

I’ve recently found the daily prompts section! I know, I’m quite slow at finding that. One challenge caught my eye. I think every now and then I’ll post something from there.

 

 

For this one you need a timer and write without stopping for the entire time. You can read more about this challenge here. I’ve gone with the worst memory. It’s easier to remember than the others.

 

 

Time to start!

 

 

 

I remember. It was about 3 years ago now. My mum finally told me to get out. It’s not that I was the worst teenager or anything. Actually, for years (as early as 14 years of age) I lent her my money, I paid rent, I helped her out. I paid the deposit to move into yet another house even though I didn’t want to move again.  I didn’t go out drinking or smoking or anything that other teenagers were doing. Ok I fought with my sisters but of course that was going to happen. 3 teenagers living together each with very different personalities. Of course we would fight. I’ll tell you a bit about it all.

 

 

My mum had thrown our oldest sister out in the past for a while then let her come back, As soon as she moved out while she was pregnant, I became mums next target. She basically bullied me for years. She knew my pin number for my bank account and had to “borrow” money to pay for things because she didn’t have the money herself but didn’t ask my twin for anything. My sister actually probably had more money than me because I had to use mine to pay for clothes since I was attending a school where I didn’t have a uniform to do my A Levels. At the time we were both learning to drive. I had started learning first and to be fair, she did pay for my lessons. Once my twin started her lessons she also paid for hers. For a while. One day she told me that she couldn’t afford to pay both of our lessons so she was only paying for my sisters and that I would have to pay for my own. It felt like I was just not as important.

 

Over the years, there were times where she wouldn’t let me go out with my friends to amusement parks and I would have to tell them I couldn’t go. I didn’t really get to see my friends outside of school. She always badmouthed men and I’m pretty sure she wasn’t pleased when she found out I had a boyfriend at 16. I wasn’t really given much confidence. I was told my boyfriend was weird/strange because he was a quiet and shy type of person. She told me I couldn’t go to his house after school when I was 16-17. OK, both my sisters had had numerous boyfriends and had spent time at their houses and here I was with my first boyfriend and I wasn’t allowed to see him? We were in the same classes doing A levels by now and we could help each other with parts of the work we didn’t understand after school.  In the end, I had to tell her that I could simply get off the bus to go to his since it was on the way home so she couldn’t stop me. She did give in after realising she couldn’t really stop me. I had to prepare myself for a full interrogation when I arrived home. She used religion against me saying that I can’t stay at his because I’m a Christian. There were times where I had to lock my bedroom door because she was chasing after me because I had made her angry while standing up for myself. She would bang on the door telling me “Don’t you dare lock that door in my house”. I was honestly terrified thinking that she was going to hit me and had to call Chris after midnight to get him to bring me to his house on that night.

 

 

Once I got a job, I decided enough was enough and changed my pin number. She asked me for it one day and when I said I wouldn’t tell her I replied “No, it’s my money.” She got so angry because I didn’t trust her with my money. My sister had moved to Coleraine and we had moved into yet another house. My mother told me to pay £70 a week for rent because I had a job. I refused. I had paid it for her for years. I didn’t want to keep being taken advantage of. Imagine how angry I felt being told that whenever she didn’t have a job and instead of looking for one she simply said “sure nobody wants an old doll like me.” I was told that if I wanted to eat i would have to pay for my own food. She meant it too. She only bought food for herself so I had to either go to buy food or else not eat.

 

 

Anyway, she had threatened to chuck me out a few times. When I was 19, she finally told me get out. It just to happened to be on a day where I was going to sleep over at Chris’ house. I spent the weekend at his house and told him about what she said. The next day, he dropped me home to get ready for work then brought me to work. While I was at work, he told his parents the situation. I got a message when I got out of work. His family was willing to take me in the next day. Thank goodness my twin was home from uni at the time. I was so nervous knowing that I had to tell my mum that she was pretty much getting what she wanted. I arrived back from work to tell my mum that I would be leaving the next day. I had to sit and wait until the five-minute break in her television show so that I could speak. I sat in silence, my stomach full of butterflies, feeling so sick with nerves. My twin, dear love her, almost fell off her seat when I told them. My mums face just looked shocked. I don’t think she ever thought I would leave after being told get out so many times. I went up to pack my stuff. She came into my room to say “I hope you don’t tell people that I’m forcing you out” and then helped me to pack.

 

 

It took me so many years but I finally got money that she owed me back. I don’t speak with her and her side of the family don’t really speak to myself nor my older sister. It’s as if she has told them all that we were horrible to her as if she was the victim. Even now, I still have nightmares about her. Lately, she has tried to say that I am “welcome to come back to live with her” but I’m not sure if it’s that she actually wants to try or if it’s to use my money and have someone to bully again. Hidden in this memory is a blessing. I’m still living with Chris and his parents and we’ve got ourselves a car that I could never afford. And I’m happy.

 

 

 

I ended up with 20 minutes instead of 10 for this post but oh well. Give it a go and see what you can remember.

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